Burning Bullets
by Halawen
Summary: Three DeGrassi students snap and the entire school is subject to their insanity with a school shooting! Trigger warning. This is not a happy fluffy fic you have been warned. Featuring Clare, Adam, Eli, Owen, Drew, Bianca, Dallas, Zig, Maya, Tristan and Luke. Rated T. This was a one shot it will now be a longer story due to demand for more!


**I do not own DeGrassi or anything associated with it.**

**Trigger warning! In case you couldn't glean it from the title and didn't read the description this story is about a school shooting. If you read The Halloween Trick I'd say the suspense level is around there. It's dramatic and not happy and as I tend to be rather vivid in my writing it is vivid at some points.**

**This takes place roughly a week after school elections.**

**This is dedicated to tomfeltonlover1991 as it was her idea to do a school shooting.**

**Pov jumps around a lot, sorry but there was a lot to cover.**

**Burning Bullets**

**(HARRY)**

"You sure this buddy of yours will come through?" I ask Damian.

"He'll come through, he hates this school as much as we do," Damian replies.

"I don't hate the school just one person, you two can kill as many people as you want I'm only after one," Talia comments.

"I'm really just after two but I can think of couple other's it might be worth offing if they get in my way," I respond.

"I don't care who dies," Damian shrugs just as there's a knock at the metal door leading to outside.

We'd been planning this for weeks, we'd picked the perfect time on the perfect day. It was raining so basically everyone was eating inside, most of them in the caf which would make them easy to find. Like shooting fish and a barrel and we'd been practicing shooting double barrel shotguns and every small handgun we could get our hands on for weeks. The teachers were having a staff meeting so all but a few of them were eating in the staff lounge and we had already barricaded that door from the outside. Damian got one of his buddies from the ravine to sneak us in several guns and a cell phone jammer to keep anyone from calling out. Damian opens the door and his buddy hands him a black duffel bag soaked by the rain which gives it this musty smell.

"You cut the phone lines?" Damian asks the kid.

"Yep all cut," the kid nods.

"Good now get out of here," Damian says and closes the door then we put a heavy chain lock on it.

"We better take out the cop at the front doors first and lock up those doors," I comment.

Damian gets out the cell phone jammer and switches it on, we take it out to the hall and he hides it on top of some lockers.

"Keep it quiet when you shoot the officer at the door," Damian tells me.

"What are you doing?" I ask taking an automatic handgun from the duffel.

"Talia and I need to go block all the doors to outside so no one can escape," he responds.

"We'll meet in the storage room with our chosen victims; I think they should be executed all together," Talia smiles in excitement.

I grin and hide the gun in my hoodie pocket walking to the front doors, I walk behind the officer at the door, pull out the gun holding it to his back and firing straight through his chest before he can even turn around. There's a popping sound and the gun kicks back but it isn't very loud, not loud enough to even draw out anyone to the halls. The officer drops to the floor with a squeaking gurgling breath. A pool of blood begins to form around his body but the officer is still alive so I lean over placing the gun to his head and pull the trigger!

**(MAYA)**

"It's awfully quiet with all the teachers in the meeting," Tori remarks as we all sit down to eat.

"I like it better that way," Tris replies.

"You guys ready for the French test tomorrow?" I question before taking a bite of my sandwich.

"No," Zig says shaking his head.

"I can help you study Zig; you could come over aft…" I stop talking when I hear several loud bangs like fireworks but very close.

The caf goes silent and everyone looks at the origin of the noises. Time seems to slow down as I realize it's Harry! He's standing there holding a gun above his head and I realize he just fired into the ceiling; the only thing I can think is this can't be real!

"Harry what are you doing?" Asks one of the lunch ladies trying to take control.

"Shut up! I've already killed once," Harry yells at them but he's been looking at our table the whole time.

"You don't need to be doing this," another lunch lady says to him in a calm voice.

She tries to approach him but Harry turns and fires the gun right at her! I don't see where it hits her but she falls back and doesn't get up again! People start whispering and moving all of a sudden and Tori starts screaming!

"EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP AND STAY STILL!" Harry yells firing the gun in the air again. The caf goes silent and still again all except for Tori who can't seem to stop screaming! "I SAID SHUT UP!" Harry yells again as he runs over to our table.

When Tori still won't stop Harry raises the gun shoots her in the head from less than a half a meter away. I scream as Tori's blood splatters on me and she falls to the ground dead! I only scream once though and then go silent again, nearly falling to ground because my legs give way but Zig catches me.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Tris exclaims aloud unable to look away from Tori on the ground.

Harry raises the gun again but Zig lets go of me enough to move and he hits the gun away from Tristan's head. The gun goes off, there's a bright flash and then Tris makes a painful scream! He clutches his arm, blood starts seeping through his fingers, he looks at the blood and then falls, hitting his head on a chair as he goes down and his eyes close!

"You two come with me!" Harry demands pointing the gun right at Zig's head!

I begin crying, tears streaming down my cheeks uncontrollably and I can't move! Zig takes my arm and pulls me with him as we begin to walk out of the caf but I'm crying too hard to see anything. Harry warns that anyone who follows us will be shot in the head just as we go through the door.

**(OWEN)**

"It's a good thing this rain won't disrupt our practice," Dallas remarks as I put the barbell back in its place.

"Yeah no kidding, I know we need the rain but I wish it didn't make the caf so damn full, there was nowhere to eat," Drew gripes.

"Which is why we're working out in the weight room first and eating after when the caf isn't so full," Luke comments.

"Yeah then we go into the caf glistening with sweat and smelling like man the girls will go nuts!" I smile.

"Speak for yourself dude I have a fiancé," Drew grins and I know he's thinking about Bianca.

"Yeah and I don't think the girl I want to go crazy eats in the caf," Dallas says.

"So who you got your eye on this t…" my question is cut off when I hear a bunch of blood curdling screams from the hall.

We all freeze and look out the windows, people are running and girls are screaming. It's like a scene from a monster movie when everyone is running from the monster! We all drop what we're doing and rush to the doors.

"WHAT?!" Dallas yells but no one listens.

"Ingvar what's going on?!" I question catching the fellow Ice Hound by the arm.

"Someone has gun, shot people in the caf," he says in his broken English and then he looks me directly in the eyes. "You're brother shot!"

I let go of him and start running for the caf, I don't give a fuck if someone does have a gun Tris has been shot! He could be dead and I need to find him. I hear running footsteps close on my heels and I know it's Drew, Dallas and Luke. I'm sure Drew is worried about Adam and Bianca, Luke is worried about his sister no doubt and Dallas must be worried about Adam too. I reach the caf and run in; there are several students and one lunch lady kneeling around someone I know to be Tris from his shoes.

"MOVE! Get out of my way!" I yell and people start to back off.

A few people move away and I run over kneeling by Tris. There's blood running down his arm! I look him over but the wound on his arm seems to be the worst of it, and thankfully it's a though and through and nowhere near the artery. He has a small bump on his head; he must have hit it when he fell. Tris groans and his eyes start to flutter, I carefully pick my brother's head up putting it in my lap as he shows signs of coming back to conciousness. People shift again and I now notice that Tori is dead and lying right next to Tris!

"It was Harry, he came in with a gun, he shot one of the lunch ladies and when Tori wouldn't stop screaming he shot her. Tris tried asked what was wrong with him and he shot Tris! Zig hit the gun and Tris got shot in the arm, then Harry took Zig and Maya with him. He said anyone that followed him would be shot in the head. We tried our phones they aren't working," Cordelia, a girl in Tris' class tells me quickly as she wipes away some tears.

"Owen?" Tris asks opening his eyes.

"Yeah I'm here buddy," I tell him.

"Tor…" Tris starts but he's pretty weak.

"I know, now lies still," I command him as the lunch lady finishes wrapping Tristan's arm in a bandage.

"Who the fuck is Harry?" Luke inquires but before anyone can say anything the PA comes on.

"Claaaare!" This very shrill and taunting voice says over the PA and her voice causes feedback. I have no fucking idea who Harry is but I only know one Clare at this school and she happens to be the best friend of Drew's little brother. I look up at Drew, he exchanges a look with me, Dallas and Luke but the voice is still talking. "Clare I can't find you and I'm getting very annoyed. I don't know where you're hiding you tricky bitch but if you don't come out then I'm just going to start killing people. You have two minutes, tick...tock tick...tock which of your friends will I shoot first with my glock?"

"Okay who the fuck is that crazy bitch and why is she after Clare?!" Dallas demands.

**(ADAM)**

"Do you want the interior shot of the hall or the science room…Eli?" I question my best friend when he doesn't seem to be paying attention.

I wave my hand in front of his face and then hit his arm to get him to pay attention.

"What?" He asks.

"I think she said she was eating in the newspaper office why don't you just go talk to her?" I inquire knowing that look on his face well; it means he's thinking of Clare.

"Because I screwed up bad the last time and then I broke up with her, she won't even look at me in the hall I don't think she'll talk to me. I'm paying attention we'll cut to the…"

Eli stops talking when we hear a lot of loud popping sounds in the hallway. The sounds echo off the lockers and then it's chaos, kids are running, girls are screaming and the sounds won't stop. Eli and I hop up and look out, around the corner to where the sounds are coming from and the opposite direction of where kids are running from. We see one kid, I think he's in grade 9, he's stalky with a grey hoodie and dark tattered jeans; he's got very short buzzed hair and a gun in each hand! We watch as he raises the guns and shoots randomly at a group of students at the other end of the hall. The students are ones we know including Mo, Marisol, Jenna, Dave, Alli, Fiona and Imogen! There are many quick popping noises and then they all drop to the ground and blood appears seeping through their clothes and pooling on the ground! I can't tell how many were hit or how bad all I can see is the blood! It doesn't feel like what I'm watching is real, time seems to be moving slower, I just freeze and watch the scene, I can't seem to move.

"Adam we need to get back in the classroom, we need to hide!" Eli says. I hear him but his voice is fuzzy and sort of sounds like he's underwater, I still can't seem to move so he grabs my arm and pulls me back. "Adam!" Eli snaps again and I move.

We run back into the resource center and look around but it's a room completely enclosed by glass, there is nowhere to hide.

"There's a janitor's closet right across the hall," I tell Eli and we run as we hear more popping sounds.

I open the door and we go in, Eli locks the door, we crouch down and kind of huddle together. Now that we're somewhere that seems safe I start shaking and my thoughts turn to everyone else in the school that I care about. Drew is my first thought, my older brother who's always been there for me and gotten me through so much. Then Clare, my other best friend, currently not speaking to Eli after he broke her heart, again. Clare, Eli and I have been through a lot together; we were always there for each other whether they were dating, friends or avoiding each other. Then Becky, my girlfriend, the only girl who's ever really fought for me and lastly I think of Dallas, my billet brother, he could be a jerk but if he counted you among his friends he was protective of you and a good friend. I pull my phone out of my pocket but there's no signal.

"My phone's not working," I tell Eli.

He pulls his out of his pocket and shakes his head. "Who was that kid? Why is he shooting at people? He shot Imogen and Fiona!" Eli starts to rant, he must be thinking about people too.

"I don't know! I've never seen that kid! What about Mo, Jenna, Dave and the others?! He shot at them Eli they could be dead! I have to find my brother, I have to find…"

"Claaaare!"

It's not my voice that says her name; it's spoken over the intercom in a taunting and shrill tone. I look at Eli, barely able to see him the dark closet, the only light is coming from under the door. Eli has gone entirely pale, my heart is pounding through my chest and I can hear his beating at rapid speed as well. We listen as the shrill female voice taunts Clare to come out of hiding or she'll start killing people.

"It's Talia this is my fault," Eli says quietly.

"That girl that gave you the drugs?! Why is she after Clare? How is this your fault?" I question rapidly.

"After I broke up with Clare I was hurting, Talia gave me some more MDMA and we hooked up. Talia thought it meant something that we were together now and I told her I was still in love with Clare and it meant nothing," Eli confesses.

"If she's threatening to kill people because of that then she really is insane. That also doesn't explain that other kid in the hall shooting at people but we have to find Clare," I tell him standing up; I simply can't let this girl find Clare.

Eli nods and we slowly open the door, peaking cautiously out to the hallway.

**(CLARE)**

I took a bite of my sushi and continued typing, determined to get this article for the school paper done before lunch was over. It wasn't due until tomorrow but since our breakup a few weeks ago I had been carefully avoiding Eli, and I knew he was still working on his movie. My rapid typing on the keyboard was nearly in rhythm with the pounding rain on the roof. I was the only one in the newspaper office and it was quite peaceful but that peace was suddenly broken when I hear a sound like a firecracker in the hall and then screaming. For a second I wonder why someone is setting off firecrackers in the school and then it occurs to me that it was a gun! The sound bringing me back to a few years ago, being in the woods by the ravine with Jay and Spinner, they were using a hand gun, Jay took from his stepdad, to shoot at trees for target practice. They even let me try once and the kickback nearly knocked me and Spinner over but I know the sound of gunfire and that was it! The fear kicks in and my flight response, I get up and run into the electrical room at the back of the newspaper office, leaving my backpack and all of my stuff. I curl up and just start trembling from fear, I have no idea what's going on or who could be hurt but I can't move and then a voice calls for me over the intercom.

"Claaaare! Clare I can't find you and I'm getting very annoyed. I don't know where you're hiding you tricky bitch but if you don't come out then I'm just going to start killing people. You have two minutes, tick...tock tick...tock which of your friends will I shoot first with my glock?"

The female voice is vaguely familiar but my mind is so frenzied right now I can't place it. Doesn't matter though she's threatening to shoot more people if I don't come out, I'm petrified, scared out of my mind and shaking so hard I can barely move but I can't let people die because some crazy girl is looking for me. Gripping the door handle tightly I manage to stand and leave the electrical room, tears, hot stinging tears of terror and tears of anger that this is even happening, race down my face falling to the floor. I slowly make my way to the newspaper office door with small, shaky steps. The hallway is empty but I hear more gunshots coming from near the resource center and distant screaming from other parts of the school.

I try to call out to this girl that I'm here but my voice doesn't seem to work so I walk toward the office because she must be there or near there if she was using the PA system. As I get close I see her, she has dirty blonde hair and takes notice of me. Looking up with a disturbingly pleased grin creeping over her face, her eyes seem dead and hollow. It's that girl who gave Eli the MDMA; I can't remember her name just now. I have no idea why she's after me, a million thoughts race through my mind. Everyone I care about or have ever loved flashes in my mind and then everything stops as Talia raises the gun at me and it becomes all I see!

**(ZIG)**

Maya is crying hysterically and clinging tightly to my arm as Harry walks behind us, keeping the gun to my head and reminding me that he could pull the trigger at any minute. My heart is pounding, I think about my mom and the fact that I might never see her again. The image of Tori, my first girlfriend, lying in a pool of blood with a hole in her head on the floor of the caf stays in my mind and I cling to hope that Tris is okay because we were taken by Harry before we could find out. I want to cry and freak out just like Maya is but I'm too afraid that Harry will just shoot me if I do. So I force myself to stay as calm as I can on the outside even though inside I'm freaking out. We just heard Talia calling for Clare, the only Clare I know is Adam's best friend and Eli's ex. I don't think Maya heard it though she's too hysterical.

"Hey Harry I need more guns, these two are out of bullets," Damian's voice startles me but his words make me ill.

I've known Damian for years, he's been one of my closest friends since we were eight and now he's running up to us with blood on his clothes and guns in his hands! He's looking right through us, like he doesn't even see us, like he doesn't care at all that Harry has a gun to my head and then it occurs to me that he doesn't care!

"You took the duffel where is it?" Harry asks him shoving me forward.

"In the storage room," Damian replies.

"Good that's where I'm taking these two," Harry says.

Damian opens the door to the storage room and Harry shoves me in, Maya comes with me as she's clinging to my arm. Harry tells us to go to the back of the room and so I put an arm around Maya and walk us back there.

"Damian why are you doing this?" I ask him as he opens a black duffel and gets out three more guns.

"Why? Because it's fun Zigmund, because I'm tired of being ignored by everyone including the people I thought were my friends. As soon as princess Tori and her precious friends took you back you dropped me! You have your precious band and all your cool friends and I became less that dirt to you! All you cared about was being near Maya and pretending like I don't exist and that fucking blonde bitch that you're so horny over acts like she's better than me!" Damian says in a crazed voice standing up and holding up one of the fresh guns to Maya! She makes a choked sort of scream and I stand in front of her putting my hand up to Damian in surrender and hoping he doesn't fire. "People can't ignore me any longer! People can't ignore this!" He says waving the gun and firing it at the sofa just behind us! "People don't ignore me anymore, they're afraid now."

The person I thought I knew, the boy I grew up with I don't know at all, he's psychotic!

"Harry," Maya says in a shaky and timid voice, "why?"

"You were all over me at that party, you kissed me in the halls and then you drop me as soon as that moron looked your way again!" Harry responds sounding just as crazy as Damian. "I liked you and you used me and dropped me," Harry raises the gun to my head and Damian starts laughing.

"Yeah shoot him! Shoot him in the head!" Damian laughs like a hyena and I see Harry's finger flexing on the trigger like he's about to pull it.

Maya screams again and all I can see is the barrel of the gun!

**(OWEN)**

"Are Maya and Zi…" Tris starts to ask.

"I don't know, they were taken by some Harry kid," I tell Tris as the caf door opens again.

I look up to see Mr. Townsend come in with the Bright Sparks. At least I know K.C. and Bianca are okay, Connor too but I don't know any of the other Bright Sparks. Drew sees Bi and they run for each other embracing tightly and happy that the other is okay.

"Are guys okay? What the hell hap…oh God Tris!" Bianca says seeing my brother on floor.

"He's okay, it went through his arm," I tell her and she looks over at Tori's dead body.

Mr. Townsend comes over and looks at Tris carefully, K.C. and Connor following behind.

"Some girl was calling for Clare over the PA have you guys seen her?" K.C. asks.

"No, I don't know where she is and I have no idea where Adam is either," Drew replies.

"They're using a cell phone jammer we can't get a signal out," Connor tells us.

"The phone lines have been cut too and I haven't seen Simpson or any other teachers. They were all in a meeting in the teacher's lounge; they have to be trapped in there or…" Townsend doesn't finish his sentence.

"I have to go find Adam, stay here," Drew says to Bianca.

"No there's at least one crazy person out there with a gun," Bianca shakes her head.

"I know but I have to find my brother, stay here and barricade the door," Drew instructs.

"I gotta find Becky," Luke nods.

"I'm coming too, I need find out who this chick is that's after Clare," Dallas remarks.

"Yeah and I'd like to know that too and get some goddamn help in here before Tris bleeds…" I start to say out but don't finish as my brother is slipping in and out of consciousness and I don't want him to hear me or think that thought.

"You kids can't just leave there is at least one armed gunman out there, we need to stay put for the cops" Townsend tells us.

"I don't care I need to find Adam and hopefully Clare," Drew says.

"Then I'm coming with you," Bianca insists.

"No stay here and lock the doors where I know you'll be safe," Drew asserts

"Find Adam and Clare and comeback to me," Bianca says kissing her fiancé.

"K.C. take care of my brother we'll be back," I tell him and he nods kneeling down by Tris' head.

We go to the doors, look out and cautiously leave; I head toward the office and the teacher's lounge. When we get near the gym I see a girl with dirty blonde hair holding Clare's arm and pointing a gun to her head! Clare is shaking, crying and breathing hard, she's pale and petrified.

"CLARE!" Drew and Dallas call to her at the same time.

The girl sees us and fires the gun in our direction, we all duck around the corner quickly waiting until she's done firing! Clare screams and I count seven shots this fucking psychotic girl shoots off at us.

"Get moving!" She growls at Clare and I hear them taking steps down the hall.

"Everyone okay?" I question.

"Yeah I'm okay," Drew says, Dallas and Luke nod.

"I've seen that girl before she was at the party before elections. Why the fuck is she after Clare?" Dallas questions.

"I don't know but if we don't do something she might kill Clare," Drew comments.

"Luke!" Becky's relived yet frightened voice is startling and distracting and we look behind us.

Becky runs up with a group of other students I don't know, Luke embraces his sister tightly.

"Luke get them back to the caf," I command him.

"No I'm going with you, Becks get to the caf, all of you get to the caf. Townsend is in there with Owen's brother and some others, get in there you'll be safe and if you hear shooting then hide," Luke instructs his sister.

She looks hesitant to go but when Luke pushes at her and another student pulls her arm they run toward the caf. I look around the corner and when I don't see anything step out with the others following me. Just before rounding the far corner of the gym I hear Adam and Eli's voices, I stop everyone at the corner and cautiously peek around. Eli and Adam are trying to talk to the girl holding a gun to Clare; they're about six yards from us and close to the storage room. Drew and Dallas move around me to see what I'm seeing.

"Talia what are you doing? Let her go!" Eli begs.

"Shut up! Both of you get in there and shut up or I'll shoot this bitch's smart brains all over the floor!" Talia demands in a shrill and demented voice.

Of course Eli and Adam do exactly as she says, Eli and Adam go first then Talia shoves Clare in.

"They're in the storage room," Drew says.

"Yeah and when the door opened I saw some other people in there. There isn't another way out of there but we need a plan now listen up," I say as the four of us huddle in and quickly come up with a plan.

**(CLARE)**

Talia pushes me into the storage room after Adam and Eli go in. Maya is in there with Zig and a couple grade 9 kids I've seen around but don't know by name. Maya is crying hysterically, sitting on the sofa shaking, Zig is standing in front of her trying to talk to one of the boys calmly while the other is ranting madly.

"Looks like we all got who we wanted," Talia says in a taunting voice and everyone looks over at us, everyone but Maya who doesn't even seem to notice we're here.

"Talia why are you doing this?" Eli asks her.

"Just let us go," Adam begs.

"Shut up! Nobody cares about you, Damian keep him quiet," Talia says shoving Adam toward the stalky one with short hair.

Damian takes Adam, holding his arm and pressing a gun to his back. Now Talia turns her attention back to us, she raises the gun again placing the barrel at my temple and tears start rolling down my face. I can hardly breathe and I can't see a thing through the salt water in my eyes.

"Talia let Clare go," Eli's voice is calm but I hear how it wavers slightly.

"But I can't let her go Eli; you said you wouldn't be with me because you still loved Clare. But if she's gone you won't love her anymore, If I kill her then you'll be with me," Talia speaks; she sounds calm and methodical but also incredibly crazy.

I feel the barrel pressing into my temple with a little more pressure, a hard, terrified breath trembles in my throat and becomes stuck. A scream gets strangled by the same breath, I'm sure I'm about to die but my life doesn't flash before my eyes or anything, it feels more like time has stopped and my mind goes blank.

"NO!" Eli yells and reaches for the gun, they begin to struggle.

Eli grabs my arm and pulls me away! I stumble back hitting Adam and he catches me. I hear two gun shots and a scream I realize is coming from me. The door bursts open and four figures come in, I can't see them clearly but I hear voices I recognize as Owen, Dallas, Drew and Luke. I turn into Adam as I hear more gunshots; they're so loud my ears are ringing. I hear Adam gasp, a thump and then a gurgling breath! I hear the sounds of struggle and try to pick my head up to see what's going on but Adam holds me tighter.

"No Clare don't!" Adam says just as I feel someone else touching my back.

"Come on it's okay now, I'll get you out of here," Drew says calmly as he tries to pull me away from Adam.

Drew's voice is too calm though, like when a parent is consoling a small child. Adam pushes at me a little to get me to walk. Drew takes me, his arm around me tightly; he's holding me very close to him. We begin walking out of the room but Adam isn't following us and I can hear struggling gurgling breaths. I look down and see Eli lying on the ground, Owen and Dallas are kneeling next to Eli, one of them holding his shirt over a bleeding wound in his chest. Blood is everywhere, pooling around Eli's body and those gurgling breaths are coming from him!

"NOOO ELI!" I scream trying to get to Eli but Drew holds me tight as Adam goes to Eli's side. I hear noises in the back of the room, voices of the others and Maya still crying but I can't look away from Eli to see what they're doing. "Drew let me go!" I shriek pushing Drew away from me.

I kneel down by Eli, pushing Dallas out of the way to get to him. I take Eli's hand, my tears falling onto his chest; he doesn't even have the strength to squeeze back. His green eyes look into mine and I wipe away my tears to see his eyes.

"I love you," Eli says in a gurgling whisper and then his eyes go dead and his breathing stops all together.

"NOOOOOOOOOO! ELI! No!" I scream and break into hysterics.

"Drew get her out of here, get to the teachers and find a phone to call for help," Owen commands.

Drew picks me up and we leave the room, I close my eyes burying my head on his shoulder and the only image I have in my mind is Eli's eyes at the moment of death.

*********Epilogue*********

Standing before the mirror I try to get my cross necklace fastened but my hands are shaking too much to open the clasp. My whole body begins shaking and I burst into tears again, I've been doing that a lot the last few days. I lean on the sink in the Torres basement washroom, my tears falling in the sink, my breathing quickly becomes labored and shaky and I feel like collapsing until hands grip my arms holding me up.

"I'll put on your necklace Clare," Dallas says in a calm voice, taking the necklace from my hand.

That's the only way people talk to me anymore, in a very calm voice like I'm insane. Although given how very often I break into tears maybe I am insane. The last few days have all blurred together, everything since Eli died. I know that Maya wasn't hurt but she was so hysterical she spent a couple nights in the psychiatric ward at the hospital. It didn't help that while she was there she found out her sister was killed. I know she's staying at Tristan's house now and probably will be for a while. Tristan had a mild concussion and a clean shot through the arm. He'll be okay but he'll have some physical therapy for his arm.

I don't remember Drew taking me outside that day, or the ambulance or seeing my mom while I was at the hospital getting checked out. I just remember waking up in Dallas' bed at the Torres house and I've been here ever since. Jake got shot in the back, he'll live but he'll be in the hospital for several weeks and have physical therapy for weeks or months. He won't graduate this year but school is closed for the next two weeks anyway.

"I can't do this, I can't see Eli's parents, Alli's, it's my fault they're dead, I killed them," I wail leaning against the sink.

Dallas fastens my necklace and turns me around to face him, tilting my chin up to look at him, not that I can see through my tears.

"You didn't kill them Clare, Harry and Damian did and Talia. They decided to bring the guns to school, they wanted to hurt people, they thought they could solve things by hurting people. None of this was your fault Clare, you can't blame yourself," Dallas tells me.

"But Eli…" I start.

"Eli died to save you, he loved you Clare and if he could go back and do it all again then I'm sure he would. Eli's not gone as long as he's in here," Dallas tells me putting a hand over my heart.

"You guys ready?" Adam asks and I look over.

I wipe away my tears, straighten my black dress and nod. Dallas puts a hand at my back and we walk out of the washroom. Drew and Bianca are in the basement too, all of us dressed in black for the mass funeral. Among the dead were Eli, Alli, Imogen, Katie, Marisol and Tori, three other students were killed or died of their injuries as well. Jake, Tris, Mo and Zig were among the injured, Mo had been shot in the leg, the bullet was lodged in there but after surgery he was going to be fine. Zig had caught a ricochet bullet in his shoulder but he would live. I also counted Maya and I among the injured, while we had been physically unharmed we were wounded, mentally and emotionally we were wounded. Watching our friends die in front of our eyes, knowing that even in part Talia, Damian and Harry had done what they did because of us, oh yes we were wounded.

Also among the dead was Damian he was killed while struggling for his weapon with Luke and the weapon misfired. Drew and Zig tried to take Harry's weapon, it had gone off in the struggle, and the bullet went straight through Harry's abdomen and spine. He was in the hospital and would be paralyzed for life; he would still stand trial when he was released from the hospital though. Talia was not hurt but she was in prison awaiting trial. She hadn't ever actually shot anyone, the shot that killed Eli occurred when he tried to get the gun to save my life. Omar assured me though that Talia had planned it with Harry and Damian and therefore could be tried for the murders as well as a slew of other charges.

Audra parks at the church, it was a full parking lot, the only funeral not happening today was Damian's. I get out of the minivan and walk with Adam and the others to the church; Becky sees Adam and runs over. He hugs her and they share a kiss, I look at the church, at the people filing in. Somewhere nearby someone slams a metal door, I jump and Dallas puts an arm around me. That has been happening a lot too, every loud noise; the slamming of a door, the popping of a balloon, even someone yelling, will make me jump. It doesn't matter what the noise is they all sound like gunfire to me. I haven't been sleep at all so the doctor gave me some kind of drug that totally knocks me out. I still manage to have nightmares some nights, even on the drugs and wake up screaming. Dallas has been in Adam's bed most nights and Adam has been sleeping on the sofa in the basement, sometimes Dallas sleeps down there and either way they stay up with me after a nightmare.

Luke, Jenna, Connor, Maya, Owen, Tris, Zig, Dave and K.C. all come over to us. Zig and Tris have slings on their arms. I hug everyone, just about everyone is crying and we all have the same somber sort of empty expression on our faces. We walk into the church together; it's filled with other families from DeGrassi and some community members. I can see Eli's parents but I look away quickly unable to look at them. We sit in the third row, behind families of the deceased. Pictures of all the dead students have been lined up in a macabre tribute to our friends. When I see Eli's picture, his piercing green eyes looking back at me I begin sobbing and shaking. Dallas puts an arm around me, I start crying on his shoulder just as the pastor calls everyone to sit down.

"A tremendous tragedy has befallen upon our community and now begins the time of healing," the pastor says.

I take Dallas' hand and squeeze, I almost want to laugh at the pastors words because it doesn't seem possible to heal after what happened. How can this ever possibly get better? How will this hurt ever fade away? I don't think the image of the life vanishing from Eli's eyes will ever vanish from my mind.


End file.
